Susanna Wolff's Web Presents

Good news: this is an actual show for actual television.

Fri, 17 May 2013 22:38:47 -0400

Good news: this is an actual show for actual television.

alexwatt: In an effort to stop doing stupid things, I’ve...

Mon, 13 May 2013 12:39:14 -0400

In an effort to stop doing stupid things, I’ve decided to start buying “apology clocks” for people every time I’m an idiot—which is obviously a foolproof plan.

This is hanging in my bathroom. Appropriately, the time is not correct.

I think I need to take a vacation day just so I can catch up on TV.

Wed, 08 May 2013 17:26:39 -0400

I think I need to take a vacation day just so I can catch up on TV.

Has anyone ever actually used Angie’s List?

Sun, 05 May 2013 22:02:24 -0400

Has anyone ever actually used Angie’s List?

Can someone explain to me why middle-aged German tourists all...

Thu, 02 May 2013 12:53:43 -0400

Can someone explain to me why middle-aged German tourists all dress like cool teens from 2001?

blogwell: donutrabbit: Here’s my 2nd year Calarts film! Man...

Wed, 01 May 2013 10:27:44 -0400

blogwell:

donutrabbit:

Here’s my 2nd year Calarts film!

Man this is cute.

Ridiculously cute.

collegehumor: The 5 Weirdest Sex Toys for Sale on Etsy [Click...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 20:36:15 -0400

collegehumor:

The 5 Weirdest Sex Toys for Sale on Etsy [Click for more adventure]

If we don’t help support these mom & pop businesses then Wal-Mart wins.

Please look at this weird article I put together today. If you don’t, the havoc I have wreaked on my Google AdSense will have been for naught.

blogwell: Too DeWitt 2 Quit Toss back more comics at...

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 12:30:35 -0400

blogwell:

Too DeWitt 2 Quit

Toss back more comics at Loldwell.com!

There’s also an awful lot of people in Columbia going into battle with their pockets lined with cake and hotdogs.

youre an arrogant piece of shit. thoughts?

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 13:04:54 -0400

Agreed. But only when I’m right.

Your 90's article was such bullshit. We're totally capable of loving things during our childhood, no matter when they were invented. You either need to stop writing bullshit articles or try another job.

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 12:19:34 -0400

What you’re saying is that you love childhood. Not the 90s. You love the universal experience of childhood.

The bullshit being referenced: 10 Things That Aren’t from the 90s, You Idiot

collegehumor: Who are these other “friends” they show in party...

Tue, 26 Mar 2013 15:19:00 -0400

collegehumor:

Who are these other “friends” they show in party scenes?

We all spent 10 years watching Monica, Chandler, Ross, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey, and we know that they don’t have any other friends. They have people they date and each other. That’s it. So who are all these randos they trot out during party scenes? The idea that you can spend all your time only hanging out with five other people and still have a rockin’ New Year’s Eve is just another lie “Friends” spread about your twenties. At least they used it as an excuse to wedge some black people in the background.

For more: 10 Things That Still Bother Me About Friends

I have watched all 236 episodes of “Friends” at least 5 times. And I have some thoughts.

Important Kids' Choice Awards question:

Sun, 24 Mar 2013 12:52:16 -0400

Is Nickelodeon footing the wardrobe bill for all the people they slime? It seems like a lot of fancy outfits are getting ruined.

If anyone has the inside scoop, please let me know. I’m unreasonably curious about this.

REMINDER: The 1996 website for Space Jam is still up in all...

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 17:25:16 -0400

REMINDER: The 1996 website for Space Jam is still up in all its 1996 glory.

Who actually wrote this joke? It’s a funny joke that I...

Tue, 19 Mar 2013 18:06:41 -0400

Who actually wrote this joke? It’s a funny joke that I have seen posted all over the Internet without credit, and frequently by people who are trying to pass it off as something they wrote themselves. Why can’t the Internet understand that this is not cool? If you wrote this joke, or you know the person who did, step forward. I’d like to give you credit.

Happy Ides of March. Please enjoy this completely accurate...

Fri, 15 Mar 2013 12:39:40 -0400

Happy Ides of March. Please enjoy this completely accurate reenactment of Roman history.

thedailywhat: Cool Story Bro of the Day: Minnesota Man’s...

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 14:24:49 -0400

thedailywhat:

Cool Story Bro of the Day: Minnesota Man’s Argument Against Marriage Equality

Today’s weird argument against marriage equality is brought to you by Minnesota resident Mike Frey, who seems to be assured that (straight) women’s private parts have the magical ability to block HIV with a cellular tissue-based “barrier.” Bathing in ignorance before the State House’s legislative committee, Frey further goes on to single out sodomy as the cause of AIDS and warns of other possible diseases that could be spread by gay people.

In the age of the Internet, there is no excuse for being factually incorrect. So, I propose a new rule:

If you are speaking as an authority figure (teacher, politician, minister, this asshole, etc.), you should be fined for every provably wrong thing you say. That fine should be multiplied by the number of people listening to you. The money collected from these fines should go towards funding scientific research and education.

Let’s fix the world, one overly confident moron at a time.

Fixed it.

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 15:48:38 -0400

Fixed it.

I’m moving out of my apartment. It’s probably about...

Sun, 03 Mar 2013 17:35:59 -0500

I’m moving out of my apartment. It’s probably about time I return this disc of “Caroline in the City” I rented 3 years ago.

collegehumor: Should You Shut the F*ck Up? I made a helpful...

Wed, 20 Feb 2013 14:14:26 -0500

collegehumor:

Should You Shut the F*ck Up?

I made a helpful chart for all the pain in the ass morons out there.

Hot Valentine's Day Tip:

Thu, 14 Feb 2013 13:42:31 -0500

Eating a 3-inch rod of rock-hard Tootsie Roll is the least attractive thing a person can do.