June 2010
6 posts
You Know What Shouldn't Be a Thing?
Blowing kisses. Why do people do that? At best, it comes off as an insincere attempt at both affection and regality—the mutual exclusion of these things being quite apparent in the whole I-want-to-kiss-you-but-more-than-that-I-want-you-to-stay-very-far-away aspect of it. At worst, it just makes you look like a jackass.
What If Your Brain Was Run Like an Apartment Building? →
collegehumor.com
739th Floor. Apartment 739-C
Landlord knocks on door.
Landlord: Calculus! Calculus, I know you’re in there.
Calculus: Go away! Leave me alone.
Landlord: Calculus, listen to me. You’ve been evicted. You haven’t paid your rent in years.
Calculus: How am I supposed to afford rent? They outsourced my job to a damn calculator.
Landlord: Sorry, buddy, but memory space is at a premium here. And you’ve been sitting there doing nothing for ages. You gotta go.
Calculus: I’m a veteran, damn it! I saved all your asses during the Great High School Finals of ‘04. You can’t throw me out!
Landlord: Look, we’ve already got someone to fill your spot.
Lyrics to Every Weird Al Song Ever: Hi.
A glimpse into Owen Parsons’ crowded high-rise of comedic genius.
New Article from a New Intern
Check out new intern Lev’s article about, like, the multifaceted nature of God and shit.
